Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
How's work?
Spinning.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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