You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
