A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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