I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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