Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I have already put on my inside pants.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize