I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Randomize
