My room smells like vodka and shame
Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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