I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
