I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
