My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
