I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
At least make sure they are 18
Why
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Randomize
