You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
