I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
