he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
don't judge my taste in strippers
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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