I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
