At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
