Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize