Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
