So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Randomize
