Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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