How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
