Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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