Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
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