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  • I thought ftw=ferrets taste weird.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 14, 09 at 11:47am
  • I think ftw= fuck the world.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 14, 09 at 10:17am
  • IDK but I think they eat cocks

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 14, 09 at 11:32am
  • i thought ftw=fuck the what

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 14, 09 at 11:06am
  • 2:01PM i died laughing

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 14, 09 at 6:42pm
  • i use to read those books when i was little - best analogy!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 14, 09 at 2:19pm
  • hey fuck your titties 10:32

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 15, 09 at 3:15pm
  • Do moose even eat muffins?

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 14, 09 at 11:24am
  • looove this! so funny and true, and i loved that book

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 16, 09 at 1:57am
  • yeah agreed 315 give a mouse a cookie shits on whatever the hell give a moose a muffin is

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 14, 09 at 4:05pm
  • 1:09, what if i don't want to give him a bj, but i put it in my vagina...isn't that pleasing it?

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 14, 09 at 1:26pm
  • I thought the same 1106 : /

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 14, 09 at 11:18am
  • HAHAHaha madeee me lol

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 15, 09 at 10:42am
  • I though ftw = fat throbbing wieners

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 14, 09 at 7:08pm
  • meese? really? fucking idiot

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 14, 09 at 1:54pm
  • there was a book when we were kids (I assume most of you are around 20-something...) called "if you give a moose a muffin" about how once you do that he'll want more and more. there was also "if you give a mouse a cookie". and yes, if you take it out you should do that too...

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 14, 09 at 10:31am
  • hahahaha giving a moose a muffin...i only knew about "if you give a mouse of cookie". picturing mooses and muffins just made this even more ridiculous haha

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 14, 09 at 2:20pm
  • its true. thats why you should never do the taking off of clothes below the belt yourselves girls. if they want it off, they'll take it off and then you're not obliged to do anything.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 14, 09 at 11:40am
  • True that those are the rules! Just like if I give you head you have to go down on me

    Submitted by Anonymous on Feb 19, 10 at 9:09pm
  • Is the plural of moose, mooses or meese, or just moose?

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 14, 09 at 1:12pm
  • why did she take it out if she wasn't going to suck it, jerk it, or fuck it? Was she going to examine it and then put it back in his pants?

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 15, 09 at 10:12am
  • Im just enjoying all the things that people came up with for "ftw".

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 14, 09 at 5:44pm
  • I WANT A BLUEBERRY MUFFIN!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 14, 09 at 4:09pm
  • If You Give A Mouse A Cookie is the better children's book reference of the If You Give A... Series, there is also If You Give A Pig A Pancake but the Moose was just as powerful, genius analogy!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 14, 09 at 12:52pm
  • im a girl and even i agree with this you gotta play by the rules

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 15, 09 at 3:00am
  • Moose. ... Just moose.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 14, 09 at 1:23pm
  • 11:58 have you sucked a lot of cock, how many guys have you sucker punched?

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 14, 09 at 12:01pm
  • Are there such things as moose muffins? Are they like dog biscuits?

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 16, 09 at 2:32am
  • If you give a pig a pork loin

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 14, 09 at 12:54pm
  • ftw is fuck the world to bikers and other old schoolers, but for nerds and geeks it means for the win.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 14, 09 at 10:35am
  • ftw = fuck the world

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 14, 09 at 10:24am
  • 1:12, the plural or moose is "moosen," as in, "I saw a flock of moosen."

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 14, 09 at 8:54pm
  • i want a muffin now...

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 14, 09 at 10:50am
  • ftw-for the weiner...hahahahahah

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 14, 09 at 10:46am
  • I'm pretty sure that if you give a mouse a cookie, he's going to ask for a glass of milk.... You don't HAVE to say yes... Although, that is probably bad manners :)

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 24, 10 at 12:51am
  • The better-known book is If You Give a Mouse a Cookie. It's a cautionary tale about the dangers of generosity. If you give a mouse a cookie, he's going to ask for a glass of milk. Then he'll want a napkin to wipe off his milk mustache. It goes on like this for pages until they end up back in the kitchen where he asks for another cookie. I don't know if the OP intended the analogy to be so perfect, but it totally is.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 14, 09 at 10:41am
  • Oh, fuck, I loled. That was funny as shit.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 15, 09 at 6:49am
  • i say meese b/c its funny. and giving a moose a muffin sounds better than mouse a cookie

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 14, 09 at 9:25pm
  • My friend and I always use "If you give a mouse a cookie..." to get out of doing shit! hahahaha But I agree: if you take out his cock and it was you that initiated it... you have to do something to please it :)

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 14, 09 at 1:09pm
  • "If You Give a Moose a Muffin" reference ftw.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 14, 09 at 10:09am
  • mmmm.... I like muffins. Especially banana nut muffins.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 14, 09 at 11:49am
  • whoever is giving her this advice is doing her a great favor by teaching her the ways, i think if you pull it out and don't do shit with it you deserve to be dick whipped into submission

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 14, 09 at 2:37pm
  • Oh, well that still makes no sense.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 14, 09 at 10:30am
  • what does 'ftw' mean?

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 14, 09 at 10:13am
  • nah, meese is legit. Have you not seen a herd of meese before 1:54?

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 14, 09 at 2:01pm
  • because she's a bitch 12:21 because she's a bitch

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 14, 09 at 12:36pm
  • you know i found this thread absolutely riveting, keep up the good work

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 14, 09 at 11:35am
  • It makes me sad that the first place you went was "If You Give a Moose a Muffin" and not the original and far superior "If You Give a Mouse a Cookie."

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 14, 09 at 3:15pm
  • This would be from Missouri, that's not even a real state.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 14, 09 at 10:32am
  • 11:42 yeah try it and you'll get sucker punched like the last guy.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 14, 09 at 11:58am
  • ftw = fresh twat wafers

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 14, 09 at 12:00pm
  • haha its true. last time i started taking it out he jumped up and helped. ahhh goood times.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 14, 09 at 7:52pm
  • ha ha ha ha... love your work 12:01

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 14, 09 at 12:04pm
  • i wish guys HAD to go down on us when they take our vageen's out =[

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 17, 09 at 6:48pm
  • I guess I am gonna have to open your mouth and put my cock in there 11:40 and then make your head rock back and forth. It's ok, I don't mind

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 14, 09 at 11:42am
  • tell this to my girlfriend...

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 14, 09 at 10:56am
  • its respect is what it is

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 14, 09 at 10:04am
  • hahahah if you give a moose a muffin. AWESOME!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 15, 09 at 10:33pm
  • why else would a bitch take a cock out in the first place?

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 14, 09 at 12:21pm
  • thats the best analogy ever. instant classic.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 14, 09 at 5:59pm
  • why can't more girls ( god i hope you are a girl) think like this?

    Submitted by gujuguy on Apr 17, 12 at 8:24pm
  • Thanks assholes! Now every time I read that story to my toddler, I'm going to think of this and get wood.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 10, 09 at 8:25am
  • Somebody explain the moose/muffin thing please?

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 14, 09 at 10:29am
  • HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 11, 09 at 10:47am
  • Why is every childhood memory of mine being turned into an innuendo???

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 14, 09 at 11:40am
  • yeah i'd have to say that if you give a mouse a cookie would've been the better reference.. the moose/muffin was the second story!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 14, 09 at 12:06pm
  • ftw = frank the welder

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 14, 09 at 10:29am
  • i loveee that book!!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 14, 09 at 10:42pm
  • ok 11:58 feel free to punch me, it will be easier to force feed you cock when you are unconscious

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 14, 09 at 12:05pm
  • I still don't get the moose muffin thing

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 14, 09 at 10:27am
  • I saw a pack of meese the other day... And some gooses

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 15, 09 at 7:39am
  • to 6:48, they DO have to!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 4, 09 at 7:21am
  • The texter (and quite possibly the textee) have young kids. at the very least, they hang around young children a lot, possibly little siblings or they work in a day care. The analogy to the book is breathtakingly brilliant.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 14, 09 at 4:05pm
  • this is my new favorite tfln of all time

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 14, 09 at 8:52pm
  • I'm pretty sure I made that reference myself once.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 14, 09 at 1:41pm
  • I just have to put my 2 cents in regarding "If You Give a Mouse a Cookie" VS "If You Give a Moose a Muffin" debate. I would have to point out that I believe "If You Give a Mouse a Cookie" is the messiah of the "If You Give a..." series. Hands down.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 14, 09 at 4:59pm
  • Great analogy I LOVE it!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 14, 09 at 12:41pm
  • they eat muffin tops

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 14, 09 at 11:30am
  • NO, ftw means "free the whales" Geeez, dont you know anything.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 14, 09 at 10:39am
  • mouse one is classic but i love all of them how great are those books? i still have them in my house.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 14, 09 at 5:43pm
  • 4:59 Actually the first one was "If You Give a Pig a Pancake." I loved those books so I know. :)

    Submitted by SirWoodsy on Aug 31, 10 at 10:23pm
  • I don't HAVE to do anything

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 14, 09 at 10:11am
  • 10:13 - ftw=for the win

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 14, 09 at 10:16am
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