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  • 64 65
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 14, 09 at 2:19pm

    i use to read those books when i was little - best analogy!

  • 62 64
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 14, 09 at 11:47am

    I thought ftw=ferrets taste weird.

  • 52 55
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 14, 09 at 11:32am

    IDK but I think they eat cocks

  • 50 52
    Submitted by Anonymous on Feb 19, 10 at 9:09pm

    True that those are the rules! Just like if I give you head you have to go down on me

  • 62 76
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 15, 09 at 3:15pm

    hey fuck your titties 10:32

  • 56 73
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 14, 09 at 12:52pm

    If You Give A Mouse A Cookie is the better children's book reference of the If You Give A... Series, there is also If You Give A Pig A Pancake but the Moose was just as powerful, genius analogy!

  • 60 83
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 14, 09 at 11:06am

    i thought ftw=fuck the what

  • 54 73
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 14, 09 at 11:18am

    I thought the same 1106 : /

  • 50 66
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 16, 09 at 2:32am

    Are there such things as moose muffins? Are they like dog biscuits?

  • 56 78
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 14, 09 at 10:31am

    there was a book when we were kids (I assume most of you are around 20-something...) called "if you give a moose a muffin" about how once you do that he'll want more and more. there was also "if you give a mouse a cookie". and yes, if you take it out you should do that too...

  • 56 79
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 14, 09 at 1:12pm

    Is the plural of moose, mooses or meese, or just moose?

  • 47 62
    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 10, 09 at 8:25am

    Thanks assholes! Now every time I read that story to my toddler, I'm going to think of this and get wood.

  • 45 59
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 14, 09 at 10:35am

    ftw is fuck the world to bikers and other old schoolers, but for nerds and geeks it means for the win.

  • 50 70
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 14, 09 at 2:20pm

    hahahaha giving a moose a muffin...i only knew about "if you give a mouse of cookie". picturing mooses and muffins just made this even more ridiculous haha

  • 41 53
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 24, 10 at 12:51am

    I'm pretty sure that if you give a mouse a cookie, he's going to ask for a glass of milk.... You don't HAVE to say yes... Although, that is probably bad manners :)

  • 48 67
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 14, 09 at 1:09pm

    My friend and I always use "If you give a mouse a cookie..." to get out of doing shit! hahahaha But I agree: if you take out his cock and it was you that initiated it... you have to do something to please it :)

  • 51 74
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 15, 09 at 10:42am

    HAHAHaha madeee me lol

  • 49 70
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 14, 09 at 7:08pm

    I though ftw = fat throbbing wieners

  • 49 70
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 14, 09 at 4:05pm

    yeah agreed 315 give a mouse a cookie shits on whatever the hell give a moose a muffin is

  • 51 74
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 14, 09 at 10:41am

    The better-known book is If You Give a Mouse a Cookie. It's a cautionary tale about the dangers of generosity. If you give a mouse a cookie, he's going to ask for a glass of milk. Then he'll want a napkin to wipe off his milk mustache. It goes on like this for pages until they end up back in the kitchen where he asks for another cookie. I don't know if the OP intended the analogy to be so perfect, but it totally is.

  • 49 71
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 15, 09 at 6:49am

    Oh, fuck, I loled. That was funny as shit.

  • 45 64
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 16, 09 at 1:57am

    looove this! so funny and true, and i loved that book

  • 49 73
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 15, 09 at 10:12am

    why did she take it out if she wasn't going to suck it, jerk it, or fuck it? Was she going to examine it and then put it back in his pants?

  • 46 67
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 14, 09 at 9:25pm

    i say meese b/c its funny. and giving a moose a muffin sounds better than mouse a cookie

  • 51 77
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 14, 09 at 6:42pm

    2:01PM i died laughing

  • 52 79
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 14, 09 at 11:42am

    I guess I am gonna have to open your mouth and put my cock in there 11:40 and then make your head rock back and forth. It's ok, I don't mind

  • 52 80
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 14, 09 at 1:26pm

    1:09, what if i don't want to give him a bj, but i put it in my vagina...isn't that pleasing it?

  • 51 78
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 14, 09 at 10:09am

    "If You Give a Moose a Muffin" reference ftw.

  • 40 57
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 11, 09 at 10:47am

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

  • 45 67
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 15, 09 at 3:00am

    im a girl and even i agree with this you gotta play by the rules

  • 44 66
    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 4, 09 at 7:21am

    to 6:48, they DO have to!

  • 28 35
    Submitted by gujuguy on Apr 17, 12 at 8:24pm

    why can't more girls ( god i hope you are a girl) think like this?

  • 48 77
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 14, 09 at 8:54pm

    1:12, the plural or moose is "moosen," as in, "I saw a flock of moosen."

  • 43 67
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 14, 09 at 12:36pm

    because she's a bitch 12:21 because she's a bitch

  • 53 87
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 14, 09 at 10:27am

    I still don't get the moose muffin thing

  • 42 66
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 14, 09 at 4:09pm

    I WANT A BLUEBERRY MUFFIN!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • 47 76
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 14, 09 at 1:41pm

    I'm pretty sure I made that reference myself once.

  • 50 82
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 14, 09 at 11:40am

    Why is every childhood memory of mine being turned into an innuendo???

  • 49 81
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 15, 09 at 7:39am

    I saw a pack of meese the other day... And some gooses

  • 49 81
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 14, 09 at 1:54pm

    meese? really? fucking idiot

  • 43 69
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 14, 09 at 12:21pm

    why else would a bitch take a cock out in the first place?

  • 50 83
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 14, 09 at 10:17am

    I think ftw= fuck the world.

  • 46 76
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 14, 09 at 10:56am

    tell this to my girlfriend...

  • 47 80
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 14, 09 at 7:52pm

    haha its true. last time i started taking it out he jumped up and helped. ahhh goood times.

  • 48 83
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 17, 09 at 6:48pm

    i wish guys HAD to go down on us when they take our vageen's out =[

  • 37 61
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 14, 09 at 12:54pm

    If you give a pig a pork loin

  • 41 69
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 14, 09 at 11:58am

    11:42 yeah try it and you'll get sucker punched like the last guy.

  • 48 83
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 14, 09 at 11:24am

    Do moose even eat muffins?

  • 41 70
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 14, 09 at 12:06pm

    yeah i'd have to say that if you give a mouse a cookie would've been the better reference.. the moose/muffin was the second story!

  • 47 82
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 14, 09 at 10:24am

    ftw = fuck the world

  • 36 61
    Submitted by SirWoodsy on Aug 31, 10 at 10:23pm

    4:59 Actually the first one was "If You Give a Pig a Pancake." I loved those books so I know. :)

  • 40 69
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 14, 09 at 12:04pm

    ha ha ha ha... love your work 12:01

  • 44 77
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 14, 09 at 10:30am

    Oh, well that still makes no sense.

  • 41 72
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 14, 09 at 11:35am

    you know i found this thread absolutely riveting, keep up the good work

  • 38 66
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 14, 09 at 11:30am

    they eat muffin tops

  • 48 87
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 14, 09 at 2:37pm

    whoever is giving her this advice is doing her a great favor by teaching her the ways, i think if you pull it out and don't do shit with it you deserve to be dick whipped into submission

  • 43 77
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 14, 09 at 10:13am

    what does 'ftw' mean?

  • 38 68
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 14, 09 at 10:42pm

    i loveee that book!!

  • 41 74
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 14, 09 at 5:44pm

    Im just enjoying all the things that people came up with for "ftw".

  • 47 86
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 14, 09 at 3:15pm

    It makes me sad that the first place you went was "If You Give a Moose a Muffin" and not the original and far superior "If You Give a Mouse a Cookie."

  • 49 91
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 14, 09 at 11:49am

    mmmm.... I like muffins. Especially banana nut muffins.

  • 41 76
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 14, 09 at 10:46am

    ftw-for the weiner...hahahahahah

  • 39 73
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 14, 09 at 4:05pm

    The texter (and quite possibly the textee) have young kids. at the very least, they hang around young children a lot, possibly little siblings or they work in a day care. The analogy to the book is breathtakingly brilliant.

  • 46 89
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 14, 09 at 12:00pm

    ftw = fresh twat wafers

  • 39 75
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 14, 09 at 10:04am

    its respect is what it is

  • 38 74
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 14, 09 at 5:59pm

    thats the best analogy ever. instant classic.

  • 41 80
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 14, 09 at 11:40am

    its true. thats why you should never do the taking off of clothes below the belt yourselves girls. if they want it off, they'll take it off and then you're not obliged to do anything.

  • 39 77
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 14, 09 at 10:32am

    This would be from Missouri, that's not even a real state.

  • 40 80
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 14, 09 at 2:01pm

    nah, meese is legit. Have you not seen a herd of meese before 1:54?

  • 40 81
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 14, 09 at 1:23pm

    Moose. ... Just moose.

  • 38 77
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 14, 09 at 10:50am

    i want a muffin now...

  • 40 81
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 14, 09 at 10:11am

    I don't HAVE to do anything

  • 40 82
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 14, 09 at 12:01pm

    11:58 have you sucked a lot of cock, how many guys have you sucker punched?

  • 45 94
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 15, 09 at 10:33pm

    hahahah if you give a moose a muffin. AWESOME!

  • 36 76
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 14, 09 at 4:59pm

    I just have to put my 2 cents in regarding "If You Give a Mouse a Cookie" VS "If You Give a Moose a Muffin" debate. I would have to point out that I believe "If You Give a Mouse a Cookie" is the messiah of the "If You Give a..." series. Hands down.

  • 45 94
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 14, 09 at 10:29am

    ftw = frank the welder

  • 33 74
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 14, 09 at 12:05pm

    ok 11:58 feel free to punch me, it will be easier to force feed you cock when you are unconscious

  • 43 98
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 14, 09 at 8:52pm

    this is my new favorite tfln of all time

  • 37 86
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 14, 09 at 10:39am

    NO, ftw means "free the whales" Geeez, dont you know anything.

  • 35 82
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 14, 09 at 10:29am

    Somebody explain the moose/muffin thing please?

  • 31 82
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 14, 09 at 12:41pm

    Great analogy I LOVE it!

  • 36 99
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 14, 09 at 10:16am

    10:13 - ftw=for the win

  • 28 88
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 14, 09 at 5:43pm

    mouse one is classic but i love all of them how great are those books? i still have them in my house.