hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
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