Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Randomize
