You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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