"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
