Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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