im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
