yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
this will be a night to untag.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
