he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
