there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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