They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
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If there are people around, then you are not stranded - just stupid.
Find lemons and sugar.
You're in luck. I remember the episode of Survivorman where he caught, skinned, butchered and ate a wild table.
I'm sure if you danced on the table while pouring the water on yourself, you should have no trouble getting another ride. but chances of being found face down in a ditch getting bufu'd by a meth head... 50/50.