there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
