On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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