i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
