Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
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I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
this will be a night to untag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
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