Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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