i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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