I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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