And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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