Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
