Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
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