Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Randomize
