A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
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