And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
