I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize