I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
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