he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
