Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
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