Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I would fuck him just for his dog
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
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