do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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