Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
