I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
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