Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
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