turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
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