another moral hangover. fuck.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
