Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Randomize
