I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
