We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Randomize
