hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I am naked and annoyed.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize