I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
