I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Randomize
