Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
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