I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
