I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
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no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Well I just put wine in my tea
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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