I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Randomize
