My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
