i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I cut my penus on the lid.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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