I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
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