It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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