No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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