Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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